Wednesday, 2 January 2013

Part One: An Introduction

I have survived the impending doom of the end of the world, and now am at this very moment am undertaking an event just as life changing. I am now on a road trip from New Jersey down to New Orleans for my Christmas vacation, with three of the most unique specimens of mankind on board our interesting ship of a car. Sides have been chosen, and re-chosen more times than the unlimited miles of quaint road between point A and B, and war has been declared. As of yet the enemy is unknown and the cause, well that is undecided too. Let me introduce you to each opposing force occupying a space much too small for each implied thought of self greatness.

First up on the list is Kate. This list is going in alphabetical order with the last person being the most likely to succeed this impeding friendly war known as the Winter Road Trip. Kate is Czech, and for most that should be information enough, but since that will not suffice for others let me elaborate. Many times I fail to quite describe just how truly unique Kate is. So I will resort to making references to fairytales. Kate is like a dainty Princess in an Ivory tower, very beautiful but very useless. The beauty charm works very well in most cases like when photos are needed and, umm I am sure there was something else too. And for Kate, the useless thing works very well in a car. In a car Kate is just like a Princess, stuck in her Ivory Tower unable to do anything relying on her minions. Oh, but she does encourage and entertain us with just how amazingly similar the Czech Republic is to America. Five minutes into our road trip I feel as if I have seen more of the Czech Republic then most of the states I have passed through on our 22 hour drive down.

Next is Kevin. The SUPER glue (because any ordinary spit and stick glue is not good enough for Kevin) that holds the constantly perceived  fraying pieces together. The long road down to New Orleans has been made less boring with his one of kind renditions of classic songs, that all somehow seem to portray our less than desirable qualities. But as they say many life lessons are taught through the words of a simple song, apparently Kevin has caught on to this theory a lot quicker than most. Thus far Kevin has exhibited very human-like qualities (or alien depending on who’s glasses you use to view this scenario from), a minor number of insults and a relatively small head for awesomness. But this is just the start.

Shaii’s name just came up in my mind and all my fingers wanted to do was type away. But I will use constraint. Shaii in normal circumstances is like my much loved arch nemesis. On the road trip he has evolved into the much loved one man comedy show of an arch nemesis. Shaii has this wonderful way to make you feel very liked and insulted from just one word out of his mouth. And he has this, to me, annoying penchant to sing themes songs to my life. Although I love the feeling that I live the movie star style life with all the travelling, constantly being serenaded with Bob Marley’s Who Shot the Sheriff is not my idea of the ideal theme song for my time in life at the moment. At this moment though he has added a new song to his playlist for my life, I can still hear it echoing in my head unless of course that is his voice. I like big butts and I cannot lie….

And the last person in the car? Well that’s me.

Oh, and we did make it down to New Orleans somewhat fuzzed out on Nyquill (Shaii), having lost only about two hours of sleep out of a normal twenty four hour day (Kate), smelling a tad like a fresh patch of stink weed (Me) and much convinced of his ability to party like a sixteen year old (Kevin).